Never Let Me Go

The Lord has been so faithful to me over the past few weeks, months actually, also years, haha. Sounds a bit silly, can't I contain my thoughts to at least a few weeks? Of course not, God cannot be contained. I'm constantly asking myself, "Why me? Why did the Holiest of Holies choose me to call Him, Father?" All I know is I never want to go back. Back to destruction, to shame, to pitch black nights alone. He continues to lift me up and fill me with His spirit, I pray my only response be to obey the One who saved me. I suppose I always used to hear about this so-called "profound" love of God, I didn't care for it. Life was fine without it. Only it wasn't.

He has made me NEW. Not just new, but FREE! Freedom took on an entirely new meaning this semester. But, that's the thing about God. He tends to reach into places you didn't even realize needed reaching, and He does it with a gentleness I can't quite explain.

Which, to be honest, is frustrating for me. I can only explain what I can write down. It is there that I can craft sentences into what my heart always intended to say. But with God, I can't explain Him away, not that I'd want to be any means, but some days I wish it were that easy. All I know is, I have Freedom in the presence of the Great I AM. Most days I'm weary and I do wake up with a bad hair days and whole lists of reasons why I'm annoyed. I'm human after all, and I don't use God's unfathomable grace as an excuse to let that sin invade my life, but it gives me more of a reason to ask my Father to push it out. He always does, and He has never let go.