Thankful for friendships today

And when I don't understand, I will choose You.

1 Peter 5:8-9
"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings."

God led me right to this verse today, in His perfect time.

Swimmer's Ear and Lemon Sorbet

I'm holding onto this verse with everything I have before my sister and I fly off to Europe (You can follow our adventures HERE). There are so many factors the Lord is showing me are out of my control, and I don't get to pick and choose which parts I want Him to handle, like the scenery and meaningful conversations my sister and I have. He is is much greater, so much wiser, and so much more patient with me than I could every convey on a simple blog post. I acquired swimmer's ear while in Texas (oh boy!), but had such a bustling weekend full of family, joy, delicious meals, and a God that is changing things one car ride at a time.

Never Let Me Go

The Lord has been so faithful to me over the past few weeks, months actually, also years, haha. Sounds a bit silly, can't I contain my thoughts to at least a few weeks? Of course not, God cannot be contained. I'm constantly asking myself, "Why me? Why did the Holiest of Holies choose me to call Him, Father?" All I know is I never want to go back. Back to destruction, to shame, to pitch black nights alone. He continues to lift me up and fill me with His spirit, I pray my only response be to obey the One who saved me. I suppose I always used to hear about this so-called "profound" love of God, I didn't care for it. Life was fine without it. Only it wasn't.

He has made me NEW. Not just new, but FREE! Freedom took on an entirely new meaning this semester. But, that's the thing about God. He tends to reach into places you didn't even realize needed reaching, and He does it with a gentleness I can't quite explain.

Which, to be honest, is frustrating for me. I can only explain what I can write down. It is there that I can craft sentences into what my heart always intended to say. But with God, I can't explain Him away, not that I'd want to be any means, but some days I wish it were that easy. All I know is, I have Freedom in the presence of the Great I AM. Most days I'm weary and I do wake up with a bad hair days and whole lists of reasons why I'm annoyed. I'm human after all, and I don't use God's unfathomable grace as an excuse to let that sin invade my life, but it gives me more of a reason to ask my Father to push it out. He always does, and He has never let go.

Thunderstorms and Coffee

Today looks a little something like this. I know blog posts are supposed to serve a purpose, but for me, it's just practice. It's an attempt to be habitual with my posts. By no means does this imply that I want to post a heaping pile of boring just for the sake of posting something, but there might be stillness in my everyday life, like today. It's a kind of stillness I crave.

Yes, I am aware every teenager uses a rainy day to swallow some melancholy and regurgitate it into angst. That's not my intent, I just enjoy rain, and the reminder that I'm not going to be the age forever. I won't have countless hours alone in my parent's house in the years to come. We won't even live here much longer than a year. I already had to say goodbye to this house once, and the Lord has given it back to us to claim for another two years. Since I've become accustomed to short "forevers," I intend to take as many sloppy pictures of rain outside of my favorite window as I can because I know they'll soon become images of nostalgia.

It's my attempt to stop time and leave it as is. If I could, I would save this kind of morning and retrieve it to enjoy when life picks up it's inevitable pace once again in the fall. The first slow pour of coffee into one of my favorite mugs, sipping over the sink until my eyelids begin to open a little bit wider as the cool air pours through the kitchen window into the stale house, the scratchy sound of the needle hitting vinyl, the calmness I fantasize about while I'm in a classroom.

God knows me too well. He gives me these mornings, perfectly tailored to my own personal peace. The beautiful thing is that these stolen moments don't last long because it's not as glamorous at 3 o'clock in the afternoon to be standing with coffee in pajamas. It just isn't. It's my morning. Mine, and the Prince of Peace. Thank you Jesus. 1 Samuel 2:2 There is none holy like the Lord: for there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God.

Unpacking, cool breezes, and talks with friends

I got back from Houston last night, and the moment I stepped off the plane, I've felt nothing but a bombardment of things to get done in the next week and 2 days before my sister and I leave for Europe. There's still planning to be done, hostels to book, hair to cut!
But for right now, I'm just thankful for the long talk I got to have with Sunny this morning. She called me on her way to start her job as a camp counselor in Nebraska, a job she is highly qualified for and highly nervous for, and it was wonderful to hear her voice. It's what I needed, the comfort of catching up with one of my people. Someone who understands me on the good days as well as the bad ones, loving me whether I deserve it or not. I get to see Kayla today too, which is perfect timing because no one can make me laugh about life like she can.

I'm thrilled to be back home in MN, but it's so much cooler out right now! The day is overcast with a slight breeze blowing into my room. There's also a nasty spider on the INSIDE of my screen, and I may just have to do something about him... Clearly I am procrastinating unpacking my suitcase from my Houston travels....So here are some pictures of the trip!!

This is dad at a delectable little Mediterranean place, so good!!

A baklava dessert we shared, flaky goodness.

Dad bought me a puzzle! We love doing them. Meaning I do all of it and he "helps"

Last day in Houston! I already miss it.

Follow us through Europe!

http://thesmithgirlsineurope.blogspot.com/

My sister and I are going to backpack through Europe for a month! If you'd like to follow our trip (in a non-creepy way, please), then go to the link above!